Sunday, September 21, 2008

What if.......

What if after all this time, I still don't get it right? You know, all the things I think I know how to do....what if I have it all wrong? What if I don't know how to be a wife, a mother, a friend, an artist, a businesswoman, a Christian. And if I don't know for sure, what I do is right, how will I know if I am doing it wrong? Do I pray right, love right, nurture right, paint right, comfort right? I feel, sometimes, that I stumble through, waiting in the sidelines for the judges to give me my scores. Did I pass?


Jessica said...

Hey Carrie, Its been awhile since we last spoke (think asilomar last april) but I felt compelled to encourage another woman who struggles in the same ways I do. This is the only answer I can come up with: Keep stumbling through. As long as you keep going, keep asking, then you are on the right track. If you think you got it all down; you're just getting lazy. Growth comes from questions, so take comfort in them. And if it makes you feel any better, I think you are an amazing artist.

Roberta said...

This is an awesome piece, esp. considering the thoughts that went into it. What if?... In my humble opinion, when God tells us in scripture, ".. whatever you did for the least of these, you did for Me.." about sums it up.. if you did it in Love... no matter how much you may think it wasn't enough, or it could have been done a better way... if you did it in God's love, you did it right! And yet, saying that, since we can never outdo God in the love he shows and gives us, we always have room for improvement in some ways. But how wonderful is that to look forward grow in God's love!

Love your work!!

Martina said...

Hey, Carrie, I think its interesting that I felt compelled to leave a remark because your post moved me,(those same fears and doubts have been rattling around in my head)and to find that my sweet Jess has already left a comment. Apparently you've been on both our minds.Here is my little bit of wisdom:Everything done in Love is of eternal value. So maybe the question is not:" Is it done right", but rather Is it done in Love? Love for your family,you God, the world around you, your art? We didn't have near enough time to get to know each other in April, but what I know of you is that you are a passionate, loving person. And it shows in your art!

Mary S Hunt said...

the artwork on this page is gorgeous...and as i looked at the journal pages you have added since i have last peeked in
they are all awesome!
a lot of thought and energy went into this particular page.
since you took such care to create the journal page
i can only say that the reflection from you is
that you are caring in life
and the fact that you ask the question of yourself in the first place
can only mean you are growing in the right direction
there is no right perfect way to 'be'
and even if it might look like it is wrong
if it comes from the heart and you care
then it isn't.
everything happens for a reason
it might not be a good reason to you at the moment
but in time the answer is revealed
and the 'why' might not be 'your' answer as good
but it is there for you
and you have to see 'it' through to see the real meaning
sometimes 'it' is just supposed to make you stronger
not necessarily happier...
but stronger and wiser...

are we confused

Anonymous said...

Carrie this is a beautiful piece! Something I tell my children is pray about may not be the answer you want, but it will be the answer that's right for you. I said "what if" to my dad one time and his response was "what if you prayed about it" and let God lead you. You know he was right then and it still works now!