Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Discovery of Self

Well it has been a rough 6 months to say the least.  I have been in the midst of some hard stuff and I have not always walked with grace or self control...or any sense of self whatsoever.


Did you ever have a problem, and while you needed help to fix it....you wanted to fix it yourself before you asked for help?  You know, the old "I can do this on my own and I don't need a bunch of people all up in my business"  Well, I was there and sometimes I still am.  But it was too much.



I needed help.  Once I made the decision that it was way over my head, I didn't know what to do and would probably drown in the process....I stopped, I prayed and I listened.  And then the journey really started. Peter Gabriel explains it perfectly.



I won't go into details, they don't matter anyway.  What matters is- it took a weekend of me running away from home, alone, to the beach...to just...be.  Be alone, be with God, be in my own skin.  To not depend on activities and events and commitments to keep me busy and BUSY.  I just needed to stop.


Once I did that I was able to see things a little more clearly.  What did I want?  What was best? What would HE want me to do.  HE would want me to let Him help me.  So I did.  I cried and I screamed, and I let Him wash over me.


During this time...I did not paint for weeks...anything.  I to this day, have only painted on canvas one time, and it was such a struggle.  Colors didn't work, feelings we scattered.  Nothing worked.  But my journal....oh my journal has once again saved me. I couldn't stay out of my journal.  Art saves...I believe this, I know this.


So fast forward, I am in therapy.  Lots and lots of therapy, and I enjoy it.  My therapist asked me one day: "Carrie, how do you see yourself?  How do your friends and family see you?  How does God see you?"


I honestly did not have an answer, I knew what I HOPED would be their answers, but I didn't know for sure. I know I have people that love me, I know God loves me.....but I didn't know who I was through THEIR eyes.


So being an artist, I tend to work internal things out.....with paint, or pens or canvas.  I just had to work it out.  Ever since she asked that questions, the only thing I can paint in my journal....is me.  I am in a self reflection place.  I tend to think of it as self centered....but I know down deep that it is not.  I am trying to visualize how the world sees me....to me.


As if I could just look in a mirror and the answers would come.  That would be great.  But sometimes the mirror is a savage place to be (shout out to Lisa Cheney for this realization) But I gotta keep looking.  I have to keep diving in and going deep.


Sometimes I feel like it is all too much.  That I keep seeing the same things over and over again, and they aren't pretty.  I let the chaos of the world around me, sometimes take up too much space in my head.  And I have to let it all go.


I know that I am a daughter of the King.  I know that I am precious in His sight.  I know that He loves me to the moon and back.  I know all these things in my heart, and I can put them down on paper.  I am just learning how to actually walk in them.


And the times when it is all too much.  I remember something my friend Diana spoke over our church last week.  That we are Daddy God's favorite, and He wants nothing more than to dance with us.  Even if it means we have to step on His toes to do it.


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Personal Geographies with Jill K. Berry

This is my entry for Jill K. Berry's "Personal Geographies" map challenge!! Map your year, life, trip, goals....whatever you wanted.  This is mine, titled "Faith and the things that follow".  It is a page in my journal with map collage, stitching, acrylics, inks, stabilo pencil, watercolors and paint pens.
Lots of folks have responded to the challenge, so head over to Jill's blog and see them all!!
Check it out here.  Happy Mapping!!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Shop open at Fine Art America!

Well, I went and done it! I held out as long as I could, but now I have finally opened shop at Fine Art America!! I am still in the process of getting everything uploaded, but I am loving the look of their products!! If anyone has bought from them in the past, please let me know, I would love to hear feedback!! So it is a work in process and more stuff is coming, like, more art and Ireland photos!  Take a look here



And Here is a link for the page for Praise canvas prints from various artists!! Beautiful work!!!!  Stop by and let me know what you think!!! My work is featured in the third Row!!!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

vincent's belog ! :)): What is Worship.....to me?

vincent's belog ! :)): What is Worship.....to me?

This is my blog post and my artwork on this blog...stolen from my blog. this person has taken an entire post, and copied it word for word and reposted on his site without credit to me.  I have reported it to Google

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Almost Spring

Well it seems to be almost Spring around here.  Days that vary from 90 degrees, to cold and foggy.  Mother nature can't make up her mind and neither can I.
I am now into my 9th week with this cast on, and it seems hard to believe that I broke my leg 3 weeks after Christmas.  And here we are on St. Patrick's Day and still, I limp along.  so frustrating and humbling and annoying and...and...and.... whatever!!
The second cast! Doc put it on for another 4.5 weeks!! Ugh!!
I am trying not to focus on the cast, the lack of exercise, the itching, the leg hair, the disgusting condition of my foot or the weight gain.  No really!!! Well, maybe!  So lets focus on the good!!!

My booth at Art in the Alley, Augie's Coffee House, Redlands
Had an amazing day at Art in the Alley 2 weeks ago.  Downtown Redlands has a very cool vibe, and the people, the artists, the music, the poets, the EVERYTHING was so cool!! I sold 7 originals, and some photos and prints as well.  Hubby and I had a great time, and tons of friends came by to see me!! It was awesome!!
The happiness of the day, shows on my face!

Met some AMAZING people, new friends!! Here are some of them with their purchases!  Art I love, going home with awesome people!!!
Vanessa, Sylvia, Carrie and Rachel
I have also been mad journaling, thanks to the new Gelli Plate, that makes for amazing backgrounds.  You can find out more about that HERE.  I have been making backgrounds on deli paper and then pasting down in my journal.  Loving the look!!!


And I finally got the advanced copy of the new Art Journaling magazine, that I wrote an article for.  Six pages of fun!! The article is titled: "Praying in Color", and it came out beautiful!!!
Title page of the article
The issue should be on news stands April 1.  Get your copy!! This issue is jam packed with some amazing artists!! I am humbled in their company!!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Three weeks in and BOY, have things changed!

So, here it is, the 22nd of January, and things are waaaay different than I thought they would be in my last post.  So here is the deal:
The first week of the New Year was amazing! Work was good, church was good, the painting was good...all was good.  Then we had our Week of Worship at church.  MAN!!! What a beautiful, anointed, blessed time we got to spend in the Lord's presence.  Every one of the worship leaders that came out was so amazing.  The Spirit fell heavy in that place every night.!! I couldn't wait to get there each day, and set up my paints and easel.  I painted every night except Wednesday, and pretty much finished 2 paintings during the week.
Photo by Adrianna Serrano
The first one was named "Love all Over the World" by my very dear friend Richard Andrew, after he saw the painting.  Then, unknown to me, what I painted during that time, corresponded to the vision Pastor Gary had for our church and our community  I don't know exactly how it will be used, but I gifted it to him to do with it as he feels the Spirit would lead him.  Here is that piece.  It's 24"x24" acrylic on plywood.


The second piece that I painted on Thursday and Friday, just may be one of my favorites ever.  It is titled "Freedom" and it is 24"x36" acrylic and ink on canvas.  I love the movement, the spirit and the colors.


I also found out that first week that I was invited to show my work at "Art in the Alley" in Redlands.  It is an art show put on by fellow artist Aeron Brown, who also happens to be one of the worship leaders from the area, and I am really excited!!!  check it out!

Art in the Alley-Augies Coffee House- 113 N 5th St. Redlands Ca
So things were jamming right along!! The church started the Daniel Fast, and as hard as the first few several upon several, days were, I was spending time with the Lord and feeling connected.  The boy and I went skating after church that next Sunday and we were having a blast.  And then......it happened......the thing that had never happened before in my life:  THIS:




Yep, that's right: broken ankle, broken fibula and crutches.  For 6-8 weeks, and I am d-e-v-a-s-t-a-t-e-d!  I have spent the entire last week, on the couch, leg elevated, can't walk, trying not to feel sorry for myself and thinking of all of the things in the next two months I am going to miss. Devastated.  But God always has a plan.  And while I don't exactly know what it is...I do know that I spent more time with Him in the last week, than I have in awhile.  I do know that my family has been amazing, helping me do everything, laundry, car pool, Connor to tae kwon do (oooohhhh so sad about not being able to go to TKD) and cooking for me.  Now remember I am still fasting, so I am the only one in the house that is eating a completely different diet.  While I could walk, I could do all my own cooking....not any more.  But I WILL finish strong, and I have my mom and hubby to thank for that!


So while sitting on the couch cruising through emails, I also was invited to show at a local coffee house in Rancho Cucamonga, Coffee Klatch, for the month of May, and I just emailed an article off for the the April issue of Art Journaling magazine.  I am really excited about it as the title is "Praying in Color" I am anxious to see what journal pages they used for the article.  Since I sent the journals off 6 months ago, I really can't remember which ones they will be choosing from.  We'll see!!  

So this has been the first 3 weeks of the New Year.  I can only imagine where it will go from here :)




Friday, January 4, 2013

Happy New Year-2013

Soooo, its the first week of the new year and I am pumped!!!! We rung in the new year in worship and prayer at The Rivers Edge Church, and it was cool.  We are starting a 21 day Daniel fast on Sunday, and then having worship every night for the next 5 nights.  I am so excited to just burrow down deep into His lap and make myself comfortable.
I am walking into the new year with my word for the year: Inspire(d).  Because I want to be inspired and inspire others....in whatever form that looks like.  All I know, is I am using this next 3 weeks of prayer and fasting to seek His face for my walk, my life and my art....and I know He will show up....He always does!!
I have been painting like crazy since Christmas and I am LOVING what is coming out.  Michael's has had 12"x12" canvas on sale so.....guess what size I have been working in?? Yep, you guessed it!! I am hoping to hear about a little art deal for the first of March, so I am painting in faith that I will get to show some art at that particular venue.  It looks so cool, and the artist putting it on, Aeron Brown's work is really amazing.  You can check out his stuff here. He is also one of the worship leaders that will be leading during our week of worship.  You can find out more about that here.  
So these are just a small sneak peek at what I have been working on.  although, I have shared most of them on my Facebook page, so it's not too sneaky I guess!!
So, no matter how you spent your New Year's or how you will spend the new year, I hope you will join me throughout this journey.....Blessings!!


Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Journey Home or #thejourneyhomealbum

April of last year. 18 months ago..... that is when it started for us.  When at BJ's for dinner, we hopped on board with a project we knew nothing about....only that we KNEW God was telling us.."Get on board"
And this Saturday was the culmination of a lot of: prayers, tears, laughs, doubleshots, harmonies, lyrics, paint, photos, rehearsals, dinners and laughs.  So blessed to be a part of #thejourneyhomealbum.


Richard Andrew has written a collection of songs that will stir your soul, soften your heart, deal with your pain, and welcome you home.  I cannot encourage you enough to get this cd.  The first single is available on Indieheaven here, and on Itunes soon.  If you want it now, it's 15 bucks....just let me know.  You can send me Paypal and I'll ship it out to you.  Yes, it's that good, and that life changing, I guarantee it.
Album cover  "the Journey Home"
The cover art for this cd is my work.  And it was not done specifically for this cd.  Well, it was, only I didn't know it at the time.  You see, at the same time I was painting this.....Richard was writing this, and it wasn't until about a week later, when he asked me a question, that I said :"Hmmmm funny, I just finished a painting that speaks of this exact thing.  And that is how it happened.
My friend Heidi and I at the party

Richard introducing the artwork
The CD release party, also, just happened to fall on my birthday.  It was amazing! (As I thanked everyone who showed up, for coming to my birthday party..LOL) It was just a beautiful evening.  The opening acts of Gia Lucid   and  Michael Bunuan  were instrumental in ushering in the spirit that fell on the evening.  Technically, it was a breeze, so smooth, and by the time Richard hit the stage to play all the songs off the new CD, there was such a sweet presence in the room, that it was a beautiful place to be.
Kristi, Jay and I in the booth.  I brought the original artwork to display.

Me, Richard and Kristi <3 td="td">
And I got to hang out with tons of my favorite people all night long!!! Just a great evening and I have been, and continue to be, so blessed by being a part of the whole process.
Back cover artwork


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Ireland-Worship and Wonder

So I have been back for a week from Ireland.  I still cannot wrap my mind about the trip.  It was more than I could have ever hoped for, and I definitely left my heart there.  The history, the heritage, the words we spoke over the land and the worship we ushered in:  all of it is still stirring around in my heart, without a way to release, just knowing I must go back...soon!  We had some of the most amazing times of worship and every single person on this trip brought something to the table when it came to the way we glorified Him.  Like I said, it is still so overwhelming to think about, so I shall just post pictures, because they speak volumes.
Martello Tower, Donabate

Donabate dunes

Donabate

Garden path, Muckross House

paths

At Glendalough

Glendalough, a Monastic settlement from the 6th century

The Wicklow Gap

Glendalough

Glenn worshiping at Dove Hill Castle

Worship at Dove Hill Castle. Leah Davis and Coty Sloan

Rock of Cashel

Rock of Cashel

Rock of Cashel

Rock of Cashel

Daniels Church

Ballycarbery Castle

Ballycarbery

Ballycarbery Castle



Oceanside worship

Glenn

Brian and Ramey Whalen and Ray Hughes leading worship

Torc Waterfall

Torc Waterfall

Path to Muckross House

Dingle Harbor

Dingle Harbor


Slea Head

Slea Head

Sleah head/ Clogher Head hike

Coty Sloan, our amazing tour guide

40 shades of green

Askeaton Friary, still standing since 1389

Askeaton friary

so beautiful

This east facing window still intact after 623 years

Amazing worship

Shawn and Elizabeth Lombard joined in leading worship

self portraits at Bunratty Castle

Bunratty castle

Ennistymon waterfalls

path to waterfall

The crew! Gary and Debbie, Glenn and I

The Cliffs of Moher

Cliffs of Moher

Kylemore Abbey, one of the most beautiful scenes ever-breathtaking

Worship in side the Neo Gothic Cathedral at Kylemore Abbey

It was beautiful-with signs everywhere that said the Gothic church is a place of silence
We changed all that

Worship was so powerful

Coty's violin

The Abbey with the heather on the hillside

Boat at the Pontoon Hotel

hiking path at Slieve League

Slieve League

The cliffs at Slieve are 3x as tall as the Cliffs of Moher

It was awesome

Sheep everywhere

Low tide will ground a boat

abandoned house

underground cave at Dunluce Castle

Dunluce castle

Dunluce Castle

Ocean side beauty

Giants Causeway

Glenn at Giants Causeway

Fish eye shot at the causeway

Coty 

a true wonder of the world

hay bales at Mussenden's Temple

worship at Downhill Hostel

Downhill Hostel

The beach view of the temple

Carrick-A-Rede rope bridge

The view from the rope bridge


Ray Hughes telling us about the Hill of Tara

Art installation, downtown Dublin

rainy morning in Dublin

The Famine Memorial

The Spire, it was amazingly tall

22 of the 44 in the group at Giants Causeway

Peace out, until next time